Rosalyn Gloth
April 16, 1918 - May 12, 2013
I could spend hours and
hours talking about my grandmother and what I loved so deeply about her, which
is basically everything. I think I have
so much material because I did spend hours and hours talking with her throughout
my entire life. My grandma was not only my grandmother but was also
one of my closest friends, and she was usually the first person I called with
any news- good or bad. We talked about
everything. We talked about fun things
like fashion and flowers and cooking, but moreso we talked about
serious things, like what values are important in life. I talked to her about school- education was
so important to her- and about friends, and even about boys. In fact, she gave me explicit and frequent advice
about what type of man to marry, and given how much she truly adored Raphael, I
am pretty sure I hit the nail on the head and did her proud. In case you’re wondering, her advice was
basically to find a mensche, but in many, many more words than that. And really this advice went along with her
basic philosophy in life, which was that as long as you are a nice person, that
is the most important thing in life. If
I heard that once, I really think I heard it a million times. She had so many words of wisdom, and they truly
all were wise. The funny thing was that
she would sometimes go on a tangent, talking about some lesson or value, and I
would be utterly rapt in attention, then she would catch herself and in a
charming and self-deprecating way, make a joke and say “I know, I’m full of so
much advice. I’m so wise,” as if to tell
me not to take her too seriously. But
the thing is, I did take her so seriously.
I think more than anyone in my life, if my grandma said it to me, it was
like the gospel. I could stand here relay
a million and one things to you that my grandma told me, but one of my favorite
things she ever said to me was shortly after I turned 21. She said to me with complete seriousness,
“I bet you still feel like you’re 16 years old.” Earnestly, I thought about it and agreed,
“yeah, I kind of do.” She said, “I know
you do. Because I do too. Still, at my age, I feel like I’m 16 years
old. Can you believe that?” she asked. And I could believe it. If you knew my
grandma, this statement doesn’t seem out of place at all, because more than
anyone else I have ever known in life, my grandma was truly ageless.
My entire life I’ve felt
so lucky to be the oldest grandchild. It
felt like such a special unique thing, really a defining identity trait for
me. Now, with some perspective, I
realize I probably felt this way because my grandparents, and especially my
grandma, simply made me feel so special and it probably had nothing to do with
being the oldest. I know she made my brother
and all my cousins feel just as special.
As a child, I spent so much one-on-one time with my grandma. Or really two-on-two, because my brother and
grandpa were there too. We even had a
“count off” where my grandpa assigned each of us a number to make sure we were
all accounted for in the car. Grandpa Hy
was one, I was two, Jeff was three, and Grandma was four. The joke was that Grandma pretended to not
know that it was her turn to count, and Grandpa wouldn’t leave the parking lot
until we all said our numbers. You kind
of had to be there, but it used to crack us all up. That count-off is still so engrained in me-
just the four of us, joking together for countless childhood hours. And actually as I speak of the count-off now,
I don’t think even my mom knew about it- so many priceless memories Jeff and I
had alone with our grandparents from our grammar school and teenage years. My grandma would often pick us up from school
and spend the day with us, and we would often spend weekends at my
grandparent’s house, without our parents, which was so much fun. We were spoiled with twizzlers and chocolate milk
made with as much hershey’s syrup as we could handle. I even remember having my first sleep over at my
grandparent’s house, right around the time my brother was born, and I was
afraid to sleep alone in a different bed.
I have such visceral memories of sleeping between my two grandparents as
a child, and when I think of those times, I feel like I am 4 or 5 years old
again, and I am completely safe and happy, and everything is okay. These memories with my grandparents, and
especially my grandma, are among my happiest memories in life.
As I got older, my
grandma continued to make me feel so special and loved, taking me shopping in
South Beach Miami for new clothes at the most chic boutiques. My grandma was so
fashion forward! And it wasn’t only me
who she spoiled this way. I remember her
dragging me to a mall in Florida so I could help her pick out some special outfit for my cousin, Leah,
who had casually mentioned it her. And
she also treated herself- when I went to paris with her about six years ago,
she made a point to buy a particular purse that was THE bag of paris at the
time. It was this soft leather with a
sequin handle. She was definitely the trendiest
grandma in Longmeadow, Massachusetts. I
know it may sound shallow or silly to talk about shopping with my grandma, but
it was a bond we shared, and more importantly, when I was a teenage girl, she
knew exactly what I needed to help me feel confident and together, ready to
face the world. In this way, she taught
me the importance of putting your best foot forward by how you present
yourself, which is something I try to maintain to this day.
She extended her love
and generosity not only to me but also to my friends. I think I spent at least three separate
school vacations at my grandparent’s florida house with friends. What other grandparents do you know that
spend a week alone with their grandchildren AND their grandchildren’s friends, spending
the entire week simply showing them a great time? My friends really
loved my grandma, too- a fact testified to by some of their presence here today.
I simply feel so lucky to have had a full 34 years with her. I got to stand atop the Eiffel tower
with my grandma, flying to france with her, just us on the flight. And when I gave birth to my son, Henry, my
grandma was there, waiting in the hospital as I delivered, his first
great-grandparent to meet and hold him. As much as I ache with her passing, I know I am just so blessed to have
had her in my life, for all the special large moments in life, all the fun
moments in Florida, and all the quiet moments at her kitchen table.
My grandma was so
classy, and so timeless, and so fundamentally kind. She had impeccable taste and always knew the
right thing to say. She understood all
sorts of matters of the heart, and was such a good listener. She always made me feel so confident in
myself, and so proud to be part of my family. She made me feel cared for and
loved in a way that is so unique from a grandparent. I am just so lucky, and I will miss her so
very much. Almost until her dying day, I
could still talk to her about anything, and I did. Even though she is gone, I know that I will
continue talking to her, and learning from her life lessons and words of
wisdom, and teaching those lessons to my own child.
